I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
