I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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