I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
