i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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