Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
