My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
