before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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