I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
