I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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