People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
