You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
