btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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