but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
