Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
