pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
