Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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