so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
