yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
