Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
