I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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