How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
