Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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