tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
