he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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