bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize