Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
