How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
