Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
