I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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