carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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