He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
