And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There r osticjed everywhere
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
