Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
