My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
