I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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