We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
