I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This house was built for laser tag.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
