Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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