NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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