seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
