You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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