There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
