she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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