he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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