So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize