Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
