Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
