Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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