I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
