How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
