My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
