Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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