What did we do last night that was yellow?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
