he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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