I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
