So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
