He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
