I am puke
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
