uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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