She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
